I’m a talkative girl. Growing up I was often reminded of this. If you know me, you’re probably not too incredibly shocked. I was told I sometimes shared too much, gave too many details away. I let people see my flaws and imperfections. I let them see me at my worst. While my family knew that these people could use my humanity against me, the thought never even occurred to me. All my family ever wanted was to protect me from any kind of hurt, and that’s love. No matter how much they reminded me, however, I couldn’t stop being an open book and laying all my pages open on the table for all to see. Everything about me screamed transparent. I suffered rejection at times and wondered if maybe I should try to just fade out and fit in. The Lord spoke to me one day and showed me why that wasn’t necessarily the answer. He showed me that I shared things unashamedly like I did for a reason, that He had designed me with a purpose, that I might shield others from potential mess ups and encourage those who had been there before. He showed me that it was good to show people that it’s ok to be real- that real is actually preferred. There’s enough fake out there. All fake does is put an unattainable bar on everyone to reach perfection. Fake doesn’t allow for flawed, needful of grace humanity. Fake doesn’t allow for the Gospel. It shows no need. It feigns perfection.
You see, God values the real, nitty gritty… People don’t need to see perfection. They need to see a real, messed up girl being continually changed and made better by the grace of God. They need to see that truth can set them free. Until we’re honest with our imperfections, we can’t allow God to deal with them in our lives. Until that point, we’re hiding them and clinging to them to the point of our demise. I finally reached the point where I realized my natural child-like reaction to spill my guts wasn’t always a bad thing. I realized that I’m not here to impress a man or peers or coworkers. I’m here to impress Almighty God and to have Him pleased with my heart. Honestly, if someone can learn from my mistakes through my brutal honesty, well praise God! I want to see the captives freed and the sick healed and broken hearts healed by a loving God. For this reason, I am confident in my decision to be vulnerable in spite of my imperfections. My past does not define me. My past does not hinder me. All it does is serve to give me a platform from which I can show the power of a saving God. Satan would have me believe otherwise, but like I said, TRUTH speaks louder than a multitude of lies.