In honor of Tom

Today is such a mix of happy and sad, of gain and of loss. I lost my grandpa on December 23rd, a couple of years ago. He was my role model and my guide in my search for “the one.” I modeled what I wanted and what I was looking for after him. I wanted to marry someone just like him, so I waited for that person. I passed over other options with the hope that one day my “Tom” would come along. I always knew I wanted a husband who acted like him.

Now, I’m very aware that my God is a God of timing. Two days ago, James proposed. He is the embodiment of all my wishes and dreams for a spouse. He is like my grandpa in so many ways. He looks at me like my grandpa looked at my grandma, and he treats me with the same awe and care. It is no accident that God would choose this week for the departure of someone I love so much and the arrival of someone else who I have also come to love in a way that I never even thought possible. So today, although I am filled with the sadness of loss, I am also filled with joy. I have joy in the knowledge that my God wastes nothing, that He ordains our steps, and that everything is in His sovereign control. In spite of the pain, I rejoice.

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