How can I walk away? What if there’s not better out there? What if this was my only chance?

We always fear letting go. We’re scared to walk away from what we have, because what if there’s nothing else out there? What if there’s nothing better? But what if I could trust God? What if I could trust that He is good and does only good? What if I could trust that he strips away only to give better? Then when I had to let go I would rejoice instead of wallow in sorrow. But do we do that? Not often. At least, I don’t.

I’ve often walked away from relationships, “trusting” that God had better, all while wallowing in self-pity. Now that I’m marrying the man of my dreams, it’s easy to look back and say, “Yes, God! You did it! You had better for me all along. You knew what you were doing.” But in the moment, in the pain, we may say we trust, but we don’t live like it. Shouldn’t we instead be excited about what is to come? Shouldn’t we rejoice at his goodness and kindness in delivering us out of our own plans? So many times I mourn over a lost thing…

Today, God used a silly example to remind me that I can trust Him and His intentions toward me. I can trust His heart. I can trust that He is a God who gives and takes away and a God who ALWAYS has better in store for me when He asks me to die to self. Lord, I pray that as I delight myself in you that you would give me the desires that I should have. I pray that you would shape the desires of my heart, so that wherever you lead me, I would go forward with joy.


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